Thursday, May 24, 2007

Anniversary Party - The Entertainment

If Skylar thinks she's bad at planning seating arrangements, she's not had my experience with planning entertainment. At my wedding (years ago) I wanted two things - a mosh pit, and for the DJ to NEVER EVER play the Macarena. What did I get? No mosh pit (okay, it was a long shot, but still--it was my *only* bridezilla moment), and they played the Macarena FIVE TIMES.

So when it came to booking the band and entertainment, I turned to my characters attending, since they're far more versed in what makes a good party than I am.

Princess Ione Ra:
Don't make it boring. I'd give an earring--yes, they are one of a kind, and designed as a gift for my birthday by an Al-Zur jewelsmith using an ancient and legendary method of hand-carving the facets of the gems--for something with a driving beat that you can grind to. But anniversary parties aren't just for celebrating another year alive, they're for rubbing it in the face of your enemies. So you contract out with the Terraformers' Guild for a couple of their apprentice Elementals. They'll sculpt your environment into something breathtaking that people will talk about for weeks. But do some of us a favor and make sure you have them put in little privacy areas. Some of us need to nip away for an extra shot or two in private to keep our buzz up. And for Ancestors' sake, don't make it boring.

Lord Den Hades:
Entertainment needs to be amusing, yet unobtrusive. And it definitely needs to underscore the power and influence you wield. Do you know what goes on at these kinds of parties? Let me tell you that if the Sublevelers knew how much of the actual government coming down from the spires was hammered out klicks away from the Noble House Council chambers, and in cloakrooms and bathrooms by half-lit blowhards in a self-congratulatory fog, there'd be riots in the ringwalks five hundred levels down. The bloated wheezing of the governmental apparatus is best underscored by a chamber orchestra with klonkhorns, to cover the mental flatulence. Oh bloody Ancestors...I didn't just say that out loud, did I?

On second thought, hire the Terraformers. They'll send you four teenagers skilled in elemental manipulation who will landscape your reception dome into whatever environmental theme you wish, with the perfect blend of ostentatious discretion that blurs the price tag, yet reveals your wealth with perfect clarity.

Okay, this is waay too complicated. My idea of entertainment is my mp3 collection playing on the computer in the background. And I thought the Terraformers' Guild was a--well, guild of terraformers, not party-trick players. I thought their specialty was planets.

I mean, I could still line up some filkers for the occasion? I mean, who doesn't want to hear "Banned From Argo" just one time?

Okay, okay. I'll get a chamber orchestra. And the Terraformers, put it on House Ra's tab, they're loaded anyway. Sheesh. Quit looking at me like that, Lord Hades. I know all your secrets.


Skylar Masey said...
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Skylar Masey said...


I'm totally with you about the MP3's. For my sister's wedding, I got to be the DJ courtesy of my CD player. ;0)

And please thank the House of Ra for the music. You know Ione really should be a clothing designer...she's such a DIVA! I'll bet if you asked nicely (and weren't too boring) that she might conjure up something for you and have her seamstress' make it by tomorrow.

Lynda K. Scott said...

The entertainment sounds fascinating.

But I forgot to line up something to wear!!! Yikes! Off to the Market Mall, I go. I'll need a new outfit, shoes, jewelry, make up...

Bernadette Gardner and Jennifer Colgan said...

You ladies are all phenomenal. I'm completely intimidated by your posts this week. I hope I can do this party justice with my post.

Skylar Masey said...

No worries! The party planner's secret--never let anyone see you sweat and keep smiling! As long as you look like you're having a good time/sound like you're having a good time everyone else will too!

And you don't have to worry about getting help (wink, wink). You are just as phenomenal (really I am, who knew?) as the rest of us, and that's why we've made it this far.

Kudos to everyone! And no I haven't gotten into Kat's liquor stash. :0)

Lynda K. Scott said...

Jennifer, what Skylar said :D

Xandra Gregory said...

Exactly, Jennifer! Fake it until you make it. :) I'm the one that feels outshined by all of you...I don't have piccies--just the ones in my head, LOL.